Can I play with madness? I don't know...

Not feeling like writing anything at all. But I started the blog to do this. So I will do it. I am fucking nuts. Really. I have this problem I know about but no one more notice. I close all doors I can close. I sleep with a bunch of pillows on every side of me. I am a depressive person. Seriously. Feeling like crap is not strange for me at all. I have always thought of suicide like one more thing I CAN do. But there are only three things that attach me to this world. Number one: my two brothers. I think they really need me.  That’s what I think. Number two: my friends. I really love my friends. Yeah I LOVE them. They, women and men, are my brothers and sisters. And finally, number three: my big aspirations in this world. I mean GIGANTIC aspirations. But I still thinking I am sick. SICK, SICK, SICK. Mentally unstable and all that stuff.  I’m also a little paranoid. I feel like I’m always being followed. I guess why my parents never wanted to give my help. Neither they, neither nobody. I am alone with my madness.